Chapter 20. Dinner With The Dutch Girl

So we had dinner together. Apparently Lisa-Marie helped guide in the kitchen, so as to make sure she did not poison anybody. She is wearing her newest Princess outfit wearing wooden clogs her favorite princess wore. I wasn't sure how she fared with the idea of my second girlfriend helping her, as I had always interpreted a kind of jealousy even for my affections even though Lisa-Marie considered me more of her mother. 

I think Anna-Marie was the only one not wearing clogs besides myself. I only did do to weird associations of having grown up male despite considering myself female, and even still have weird issues about mom lecturing me for wearing ladies shoes.

So we had a family dinner, we a new guest.

Who really liked lady cocks. I still had dreams of maybe some day visiting Japan, since for the longest time that was the culture I was most familiar with. This made it difficult to maintain conversations, as I tended to prefer referencing anime and JRPGs over the--apparently--more lady like conversations ladies tended to have. But I was just twenty, I wasn't about to lose my childhood completely. I clung to games much in the same way a cyber sexual would cling to porn, the digital girls being more accepting of me being in someone else's body.

It was a chance for me to escape. Masturbation only reminded me of myself. And I hated being reminded of myself. This was an experience even Anna-Marie couldn't understand, but tried to be accepting of it when I tried to explain it to her. But there is only so much a "natural born woman" will understand about being a trans girl, despite however passing.

The dutch girl decided to try on my green-Irish cap.

She looks really fucking good in it!

I always had difficulty maintaining a job do to my personal sleep issues and overbearing memories from the past. Despite my sudden exodus from my parents house, they felt, for some purpose, a desire to help me gain disability. Therefore I maintain most of my sanity indoors when others besides Lisa-Marie at work, for she herself is occupied by going to school.

Inside those locked doors, I merely looked outside staring superficially a paradox of grumpy and cheerful to the young children that would come talk to me through my window. They would wonder why it is I never go outside. So I would always tell them something like this. "Well do you know what a duality is?" I asked. Often they would only have some vague knowledge.

"We can only count lady dude!" one said.

"Duality means two right?" the other said.

"Why yes, duality certainly does mean do. But it's not just about two, for you see there is a higher meaning, for there not necessarily be a conflict between the two. For the East and the West are brothers and sisters among the cities under the stars." I said, and they would be puzzled, yet polite enough to keep asking what I mean.

"My story is a story about the duality between East and West, not a retelling of the wild west. But the nature of love in the exodus from the South..."

And they would listen until the end.