There was a white mug spilled on the pavement of the parking lot. The manager didn't seem to pay attention, as he was to busy picking fights with other motel tenants.
My sexuality was like a constantly moving train, no matter what stops you have you will always come out ahead. The lady lump was beginning to develop into a sore subject. The desire for human contact fading nightly, and yet some calling need to find out where Anna-Marie had gone. Anna-Marie was the opposite of a digital cyberspace dream girl. I had known others only briefly outside of the inter webs. I clung to the idea of some vague notion of human innocents from game console flower girls in science fantasy games. And yet some or the lack of it had become a moot point.
I never found myself willing to hold onto relationships. They were a burden I simply did not even need. The closest I ever came to a relationship was being sucked off by a slightly homely but not altogether ugly girl. I didn't want to break her heart as we both knew it was arranged by some other slave master.
As
I wander to find Anna-Marie, I am consumed by my inner thoughts and
worries about whether she might do something stupid. I wasn't the
type to rescue girls.
I merely wanted the entertainment.
I
hadn't seen a beheading of someone I liked. I had mixed feelings of
whether I wanted it to happen at all.
As I allow her decapitation to happen I am in a state of shock, the angled blade cutting through flesh and bone reverberating across my junk. I have a mixture of sexual feelings and depression as I say goodbye for the last time, watching blood spill into the basket.
My digital cyberspace dream girl was gone. Originally my feelings of Anna-Marie were that of shameful reluctance for love. She would become my Anna-Marie. Cyberspace girls cant be hurt or broken. There is only digital innocence on the web.
I wondered when the dream scanners caught her, I just needed somewhere to be.
Glad
I wore three extra layers of jeans. A mixture of some horrible
eroticism and sadness.
No comments:
Post a Comment